Wiebke and Paul

In Love With Lucy! October 10, 2008

On Monday, September 29th, I lost my husband to another girl…The minute Paul was introduced to Lucy Elena Fox, he was in love with her.  And so was I.

We were blessed to meet the little new baby girl of Heidi and Andy only a few hours after she was born. Heidi & Andy, we’re so thrilled for you and your little daughter. She sure is a precious baby! Thank you for letting us in and sharing your joy about her arrival with us!

Only a week later, last Monday, we came by to visit Heidi, Andy and Lucy at their home. I was fascinated to see Paul bond with Lucy - he almost didn’t want to give her back to her Daddy. See for yourself:

I think, Lucy looks really good on us!

Oh, Andy, thanks for pointing out the benefits of having a pregnant wife… :-)

We Got It! September 8, 2008

Last Thursday, September 4th, we got the approval for my Green Card! After months of preparation - filling in forms, submitting documents, gathering information on basically your entire life, printing photos of your lives together, etc - we finally received the invitation to our interview a couple of weeks ago.

The rest was supposedly formality since, let’s be real, I totally deserved to receive the status of a permanent resident in the United States. Nonetheless, we were a bit nervous. Especially, after we’ve heard and read all these horror stories about “mean” interrogations.

But, again, our marriage, as you all know, is happy, solid and FOREVER! So, we’ve had nothing to fear.

Our officer was really nice. We’ve had to swear to tell nothing but the truth and after about 10 minutes (!), he said the magic words:”You are approved, your Green Card will be sent to you in between 4-6 weeks!”.

A special thanks to our friends Patricia “Mary” and Dave Solis who have been such an amazing support all along the process! No matter what time of day, they were available to answer our questions, pray for us, prepare the documentation with us and encouraged us. Muchas gracias y besos!

In 2 years, we’ll have to go through a similar process again to prove that we are still married. After that, I can finally apply for the U.S. citizenship. :-)

Un Lion D’Or De Cyber, Sil Vouz Plais. June 18, 2008

Yeah! We’ve just been informed this morning that we won a gold Lion in Cannes for the Interactive category (”Cyber Lion”). You don’t know what that is and why I am so thrilled about these news??? Well, let me explain - courtesy of Wikipedia.

The Cannes Lions International Advertising Festival (IAF) is generally regarded as the most prestigious international advertising festival. The five to seven day festival is held annually in the city of Cannes, France (that’s in Europe), usually in the third week of June. Although the festival also features seminars, workshops and social events (!) for people in the advertising industry, the primary purpose of the festival is to present the Lion awards for the advertisements and advertising campaigns adjudged the best of the year (and to “connect” with folks in the industry on various levels…).

Lions are awarded in a number of categories, including cinema/television, print marketing, outdoor advertising and direct marketing. The festival introduced an award category for online media in 1998, known as the “Cyber Lion”. Curiously, the festival only created a category for radio advertising in 2005. In 2006 “Promo Lions” were added and in 2007 “Integrated Lions” will be added.

This is huge for our agency, the team…and, frankly, for me as the Account Supervisor on this project. If I was a bitter person, I could go on a rampage now and throw a fit about the lack of acknowledgment of the efforts, cleverness, enthusiasm, persistence, experience, vision, diligence, excitement, strategic thinking, you name it, that we contribute to selling excellent creative ideas. (Can I get an “Amen” from all you other Client Service peeps out there?) But luckily, I am not bitter. I am a very gracious person who will remain humble and stoked about being part of such an amazing creative team here at Hal Riney. (Insert: Dominic Goldman, I miss you and your endless endeavors to push our creative product to the most highest level!Love always!)

Happy Mother’s Day. May 11, 2008

“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue . . . her children arise and call her blessed.” – Proverbs 31:25-26, 28

Liebe Mama~
Alles Liebe zum Muttertag. Egal, wie weit ich von dir entfernt bin, du bist immernoch mein Fels und die Quelle fuer weise Ratschlaege. Ob ich die hoeren will oder nicht. ;-) Fuehl dich umarmt und geehrt - und bitte nicht nur an diesem einen Sonntag!

In Liebe,
deine Grosse

Green Card Update. April 21, 2008

Only two weeks after we shipped my Green Card application, I’ve already received my appointment notice to have my fingerprints taken.

And our checks for the application fees have been cashed about a week ago. (Ouch!)

We trust this is all good news and we keep believing that there will be no rocks on the road to obtaining Lawful Permanent Residency before my visa expires August 15th.

Hallelujah!

Save Our Boobs! March 28, 2008

Women of all ages and nationalities - this goes out to you! And of course, to all you men who care about us women…and our boobs.

Can you imagine a world without breast cancer? It’s hard, given how pervasive the disease is. But go ahead, let yourself envision that world. Because it’s not a fantasy. It’s a reality within our grasp. Everyone of us can help bringing us closer to ending the disease forever.

The Breast Cancer 3-Day is a 60-mile walk over the course of three days. Net proceeds benefit Susan G. Komen for the Cure and National Philanthropic Trust, funding important breast cancer research, education, screening, and treatment.

My friend Jill and her team “Save Our Boobs” (S.O.B) haven taken on the challenge to participate and raise money for this cause.

And here’s where you come in:

Team S.O.B. will be guest bar tending at the Fish Bowl in San Francisco on Wednesday, April 30th from 8:00 P.M. – close to raise money for the Susan G. Komen 60-mile Breast Cancer walk. All cash tips will go towards the team members’ fundraising efforts.

You got that? All you have to do is party for one night!! No one’s asking you to actually walk for 3 days. ;-)

So, put on your pink ribbon and your party pants and support our boobs, uhm, troops.

IMPORTANT: Please bring cash as they don’t get to donate tips from credit cards!

If you don’t agree with me that partying for a cure is a brilliant idea, please support Jill’s amazing fundraising efforts by donating on their team’s website http://08.the3day.org/goto/saveourboobs

And remember: every dollar counts!

(Jill and her cousin Sandi at the 2007 Breast Cancer Walk)

My Journey February 24, 2008

I had no idea how clueless I was about my husband’s “inner life” until I started reading intelligent books that went beyond the “pre-marriage-preparedness-topics”. A little bit after our wedding, Paul and I started struggling quite a bit with our daily communication and understanding: different cultural backgrounds, different age and obviously different primary languages were not really helping us communicate our feelings, thoughts and needs clearly to each other. Oh, and then there is the challenging fact that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Can I get an Amen here?

Since our marriage is sacred to us, we knew we had to do something about this subtle but consistent problem that kept sneaking up on us from behind. We knew we had to fix it. Don’t get me wrong, we absolutely love and adore each other. We are committed to one another and to our marriage. We did not just write our wedding vows for the sake of romance or to make our Moms cry. We promised to love, honor and cherish each other in good times and in bad times. And we put our love and marriage into God’s hands.

But when we moved in together and daily life caught up with us, between household chores like doing the dishes, cleaning the bathroom, grocery shopping, juggling our two demanding jobs, keeping up with our social lives, and not to forget serving in God’s house, we quickly realized that a solid and happy marriage cannot only be build on affection and that romantic “in-love” feeling. Like my friend Jen once told me, being married means you have made the decision to love your husband every day. Love becomes an attitude - a way of thinking. Love is the attitude that says “I am married to you, and I choose to love you and look out for you and your desires.”.

Did you know that we speak different “love languages”? When I first heard about a book called “The Five Love Languages”, I thought, what could be so different about the way we express and receive love?

First, let me tell you the five love languages:

~ Quality Time
~ Words of Affirmation
~ Gifts
~ Acts of Services
~ Physical Touch

Can you see where this goes? The things that are important to you, might not have the same priority for your husband/wife. My primary love language is Acts of Service. So, when Paul tells me that I am beautiful and that he likes that new shirt on me, then I obviously appreciate his feedback but his words don’t necessarily translate into “I love you” for me.

On the other hand, whenever Paul walks the dog or does the dishes (without me nagging him to clean up), he says loud and clearly “I love you, Wiebke”.

By Acts of Services, I mean doing things you know your spouse would like you to do. You seek to please her/him by serving her/him, to express love for her/him by doing things for her/him.

Paul loves to head out of town for a short weekend trip or go out for nice dinner. When I agree to put running errands or other obligations on the back burner and just spend time with each other, he is the happiest man in the world. Paul speaks Quality Time.

Do you get the idea?

After reading that book, I had arrived at the end of the first part of that long journey to a fulfilled, loving and intimate marriage.

What next?

Initially, I just wanted a little insight and get some practical advice on marriage to kill this demon called “high expectations” that was frequently controlling my mind and heart.

But pretty soon I found myself enlightened and so encouraged by all this faith-based wisdom that I wanted to continue reading. I wanted to change to become the wife God created me to be, to this man I love so much.

A friend recommended the book “The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands” to me. Hm, interesting title, I thought. A few chapters into the book, I felt like I was the worst wife ever. I have to admit I complained and demanded a lot from Paul. I showed little respect to his needs and opinions. But this author wrote in such a rebuking and condescending way that I wasn’t really inspired by her words. She had some good points but I wouldn’t necessarily recommend this book to my girlfriends.

Actually, a (male) friend of mine read a bit in this book and almost got furious about the author’s opinion about men. Once, she literally compared husbands to puppies. Phil didn’t appreciate that. And I’m with him. It’s not so much what she has to say, it’s how she says it.

Recently, I had to travel a lot for work. I took the book with me as I wanted to finish it. Paul believes that if you’re reading a book and you only get one or two ideas out of it, it’s money and time well spent. I liked that.

But I came across this other book at the airport: “For Women Only - Understanding The Inner Lives Of Men”.

Within a few lines, I was hooked. THAT was the kind of writing I needed. The author wrote such a positive style that she captured me immediately. More importantly, she addressed all women - including herself. It was refreshing.

Every chapter had new revelations for me in store. I was astonished by her insights about what’s going on in a man’s mind. I believe, every woman struggles to understand why males behave the way they do. Even long-married women who think they understand men have only scratched the surface.

What Shaunti Feldhahn’s research reveals about the inner lives of men will open your eyes to what the men in your life—boyfriend, brother, husband —are really thinking and feeling.

This book is about the things we just don’t ‘get’ about guys. Grounded in biblical hope, I discovered how to love my man for who he really is — not who I think he is.

Does reading these books make me the perfect wife? Heck, no! It takes a lot of prayers, surrender to God and a major leap of faith on my side to push through all that junk that I still carry around with me. The enemy tries to attack me every day. And if it wasn’t for my amazing husband who seems to be able to stop the world when it is moving too fast, who invites grace and forgiveness into our lives and who always believes in me, I would probably not even be in this place of believing in an abundant love life.

I love you, Paul!

Sources:
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn

Missing My Baby… February 19, 2008

Although, traveling to L.A. for a photo shoot is fun, being away from my husband for several days kinda sucks.

Traveling to Chicago and entering another climate zone (ice!) AND being away from my husband for several days really blows.

Honey, I’ll be back on Thursday night - It’ll be late and I’ll be exhausted but it’s Date Night and I can’t wait to be back home with you and the furry monster.

By The Way… February 15, 2008

…Griffin and I got that empty office. Which means, I can continue to bring him into the office while Paul and I are working hard to train him not to bark.

Thank you, Jesus!

Griffin’s Not Appreciated In The Office February 14, 2008

I was just called into the office of our head of HR. No, unfortunately not to get a promotion or pay rise. Apparently, several people had complained about Griffin being too much trouble in the office. Although, I had asked around so many times, no one was honest enough to tell me into my face that Griffin was annoying and distracting.

My co-workers have complained about his barking, him running around off leash, the smell, etc.

I really don’t get it (or maybe don’t want to get it). I have been trying very hard to avoid any complaints by putting him on a leash when I took him somewhere, lighting a scented candle which according to feedback everyone liked, took him out every hour (!) so he didn’t even have to use his pee pads, brought him in only three days a week. I’ve been asking around a lot to figure out if I had to make any further changes or try harder. Why did no one have the guts to be frank and tell me that Griffin is indeed a problem?

Thankfully, HR offered me to discuss the option of moving me back into another empty office. I’ll find out today if that will work. If not, we’ll have to bite the bullet and invest in expensive doggy day care. At least, once or twice a week.

I totally understand that our little furry monster can be a hand full sometimes. But, seriously, is it too much to expect the folks around your office to be honest with you so you can react before you’re being called to HR?! Guess, I’ll have to work on my expectations (again). :-)